The Official Guide To Pooberty
by TheGeekyTributeLLP
Summary: While I figure out what to do with my SYOT, here's a humor fanfiction about puberty. Takes place a little post-movie. This is my interpretation of what happens. Will take requests for chapters through PM.
1. Chapter 1- WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEE!

Chapter 1- "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEE!"

No POV

It must have been about 3 AM. Disgust had dream duty that night, and Riley was in a non-REM cycle. Disgust couldn't help but glance over to the Puberty button and its flipped up glass cover. She tried to control the urge to press the button. Surely it did nothing. Suddenly, she had an idea. She could just close the lid! Then, to press it, she'd have to flip the lid back up. Then she'd have time to reconsider. She walked over to the button and pushed the doubts away; this was the best idea in the world! Before she could do anything, Joy walked into the room yawning. Her sues widened as she saw Disgust about to press the button. Joy ran over to the console and shouted, "No! Don't do it!" Joy jumped on top of Disgust as Disgust's hand was over the button. The impact made Disgust fall onto the console and the Puberty button. Suddenly, an alarm started blaring. A robotic voice said, "Warning. Puberty button has been pressed. Warning." If Joy's shouting didn't wake up the emotions, then this definitely did.

Anger burst into the room. "What the hell are you two doing!?"

Disgust glared at Joy. "I was trying to put the cover on the Puberty button but Crazy here jumped on me and made me press it."

Suddenly the floor seemed very interesting to Joy. "I- I'm sorry. It looked like you were gonna press it, so I tried to stop you."

Disgust replied, "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted, but why would I do it without telling you?"

Joy opened her mouth to say something, but Fear cut her off.

"OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE! Oh my god oh my god oh my god!"

Joy said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down Fear, we're not gonna die. I just accidentally pressed the Puberty button, that's all. Okay, Sadness. Do you know what this button does?"

"Wait just a moment Joy." Sadness ran over to the mind manuals and picked out one with the title of _The Effects Of Puberty_.

"Okay. 'In no particular order, but not at the same time, these effects all happen. Height and weight increase, changes to various body parts, breasts grow, periods start, and the body sweats.'", Sadness quoted.

Joy said happily, "Well, that doesn't sound bad!"

Disgust questioned, "Um, what's a period?"

Sadness replied, "Hold on, let me check. A period is when Riley gets cramps and stuff and then bleeds for a week out of her... um... you know where. There's also a thingy called PMS where Anger and I run crazy pressing everything and Disgust can't get her mind out of the gutter."

Fear wondered, "Is that really what it said?"

Sadness answered, "I didn't quote anything but, yes."

This just panicked Fear. Everybody else was worried too.

Disgust said, "The question is, which comes first?"

LINE BREAK

And we'll find out in the next chapter!

Review questions for no reason!

Did I get the characters right?

Do you like this story so far?

I will probably take requests for chapters through PM. It has to be related to the story though.


	2. Chapter 2- Puberty 101

Chapter 2- Puberty 101

No POV

It was a week after the button-pressing incident. Everyone was looking over the manuals on puberty so they'd be prepared. Sadness, Joy and Disgust were looking at the section with bras. Joy said, "This obviously goes on the head. Doesn't it? See, it looks like a blindfold!"

Disgust rolled her eyes. "Joy, what the heck? Bras don't go on the head."

Sadness said, "Actually, it does look a little like a blindfold if you tilt your head and squint."

Disgust replied, "It says here that they support the breasts so if you get big ones you won't get a backache."

Anger looked over and said, "To me it looks like a torture device."

Disgust facepalmed. "Anger, shouldn't you be looking at pads and tampons with Fear?"

Anger complained, "But that's girl stuff!"

Joy pointed out, "Riley is a girl. But if you want to stay here, I can look at it with Fear."

Anger said, "Thank you."

Joy skipped over to Fear. "Hi Fear! Have you decided which one Riley should use?"

Fear said, "Pads. Definitely pads. With tampons you can get Toxic Shock Syndrome. It's lethal."

Joy replied, "It says it CAN be lethal, not IS lethal. Besides, if we're careful and take them out between 4-8 hours it won't kill us."

Fear said, "I still think she should use pads."

Joy said enthusiastically, "Okay, sounds good! What about hormones?"

Fear looked at the page, and the smile dropped off his face. "Oh. Oh god. This doesn't look good."

Joy asked, panicked, "What? What!?"

LINE BREAK

And we'll find out next time! And I lied last time, we won't find out until it happens. **evil laugh**

No questions, just please review. And suggest chapters. I have a plan, but unexpected stuff is always fun!


	3. Chapter 3- Hormones Drive You Crazy

Chapter 3- Hormones Drive You Crazy

No POV

Fear said, "After about a week of pressing the puberty button, hormones arrive in Headquarters. It's unknown how long they stay." He pointed out a picture of them. They looked like a cross between emotions and Forgetters. And they were pink.

Joy replied, "So, in a few days we'll have a group of pink mini-motions that will run around press the... well... everything for God knows how long?"

Fear thought this sounded like a sentence Anger would say, but he ignored it and responded. "Well, yes."

Joy smiled and cheered. "That doesn't sound bad! At least we'll have company."

Fear smiled too at this. He liked the way she could turn anything positive. She was Joy, after all. "I guess you're right. Let's tell the other emotions."

Anger took the news quite good. If taking news good means just a bit of smoke rising, which it does. For Anger, anyway. Everybody else didn't seem to mind. Until they popped into existence 10 minutes later. With no greeting, they just ran over to the console and jumped on it. Two of them started ballroom dancing on it, and one was flipping everything in her sight. It didn't take long for Anger to get frustrated. It never did, but these hormones just started to drive everyone crazy.

Next, they jumped on the console like it was a trampoline. Anger couldn't take it anymore. They'd only been there 11 minutes and 53 seconds (yes, he counted), but this was really ticking him off.

Anger ran over and yelled, "GET OFF OF THE CONSOLE!" Flames erupted on his head. Scared, the mini-motions ran to the memories side of the room.

One of the hormones randomely said, "Ooh! She's coming."

Joy asked, "Who? Who's coming?"

Suddenly, the hormones disappeared. A bright, blinding light engulfed Headquarters. Through the light came a new emotion. She was a little taller than Joy with light pink skin, lavender chest-length hair and a hot pink dress with purple fireworks. She happily said, "Hi! I'm Passion. My job is to help Riley find her true love."

Joy walked over to the new emotion. "Hello Passion. I think we're going to get along great!" Disgust rolled her eyes. Anger sighed. One Joy was enough.

Line Break

Thoughts on Passion?

The hormones, or "mini-motions" as Joy calls them, may come back. I honestly thought it would be more fun writing them, but it really wasn't. I think Passion will be fun though.


End file.
